“AskMark” - Or, The Bonkers Questions I Sometime Get Sent Through
June 17th, 2005 by Mark Rittman
Duncan Mills’ recently posted about the
questions he sometimes receives from readers, and it got me thinking about
the type of questions I often get sent through to me. Like Duncan, I put my
email address on the front page of my blog (in case someone wants to write to me
and offer me a job with a million pounds salary), and what I infact get is
around about half a dozen emails through each week asking for help with some
Oracle problem or other. Unfortunately, because I work full time for a
consultancy and do a lot of travelling, I don’t usually get much time if any to
respond to these, and I seem to spend most of my time feeling perpetually guilty
about not even getting the chance to send a quick acknowledgment, let alone a
full answer. Some of the questions I get through though are actually quite
bizarre, so I thought I’d go back through my inbox and dig out a few to show
you.
"Hi Mark. i am a big of you and keep reading your articals, i have a
question for you today, the question is,What does Oracle s query rewrite
capability do? List and discuss the techniques the Oracle RDBMS employs in
the process of analyzing a query for a potential rewrite. i will be thankful
and glad if you answer me before 6.pm dec 14 2004 thanks"
This one started off nice, with a complement (always nice to get) and a
question that’s on-topic. However - "list and discuss the techniques the Oracle
RBDMS employs in the process of analyzing a query …. I will be glad if you can
answer me before 6.pm dec 14th 2004"? Excuse me? The "list and discuss" was
bizarre enough in itself - query rewrite is something that is very well
documented in the online docs - but giving me a deadline? Is this for a school
project? Excuse me whilst I stop whatever I’m doing and get this done, and I
hope it’s OK if I’m a couple of hours late…
"Dear Mr. Mark Rittman,
How are you,hope your ok.
There are some question that i would ask to you.
We got problem about our oracle database and need ur advice A.S.A.P.
We upgrade our oracle server memory from 2 Gb into 3 Gb but after that our
Oracle Can’t start.
Here the error message "shared memory realm already exists " the error code
is Ora-27100.For your reference : We using Oracle 91 with OS Win2K Advance Server"
These ones always baffle me as I can’t for the life of me work out why I get
sent them. Sure, if I was Tom or Jonathan Lewis I could understand, but even
they would probably point you to metalink or the online docs. Funnily enough I
asked Jonathan whether he gets many questions like this, and apparently he
doesn’t (maybe everyone’s scared of him) but I always wonder why I get through
mails like this when I’ve never even discussed anything remotely like it. Of course, if
you do post a reply, you never hear anything back ever again, as whoever sent it
to you probably mailed a dozen other people, then sorted it out themselves
anyway, and ignored all the replies. Sheesh…
"Hi Mark,
I tried to compile the procedure from the your article at
http://dba-oracle.com/oracle_news/2004_1_31_plsqlL_bulk_binds_FORALL.htmSQL> create or replace procedure fast_proc is
2 type TObjectTable is table of ALL_OBJECTS%ROWTYPE;
3 ObjectTable$ TObjectTable;
4 begin
5 select
6 * BULK COLLECT INTO ObjectTable$
7 from ALL_OBJECTS;
8
9 forall x in ObjectTable$.First..ObjectTable$.Last
10 insert into t1 values ObjectTable$(x) ;
11 end;
12 /and got the following error:
PLS-00597: expression OBJECTTABLE$ in the INTO list is of wrong type
What did I do wrong?
Thank you,
Boris"
Christ on a bike, if there was ever an article I wished I’d never written, it
was that one and the other around that time around PL/SQL collections. In the
article I commented on a challenge Daniel Morgan set on c.d.o.s. where he took
some Oracle 7-era PL/SQL code and challenged readers to come up with a better
version using newer PL/SQL constructs. Ever since then I’ve had a steady stream
of people telling me that the code (that Daniel Morgan!) put together sometimes
doesn’t compile, isn’t the most efficient way of doing it, and so on, when it
wasn’t my code and all I was doing was commenting on what an interesting
challenge it was. I’d say I honestly
still get at least one email a month about that posting, usually asking me to
debug some code they’ve gone on to write using collections, and unfortunately
I’ve not got the time (or the inclination) to look at arrays any further.
Here’s one where I still can’t work out what the person is
actually asking about:
"dear sir,
I need one
small help from u.There is to
server running
in the plant
1. Oracle server
a.
IBM RS 6000 AIX 4.0
b.
Oracle 7.3c.
Sql*forms 3.0d. Report writer2.3
e.linux
this server connected with 34
terminals
2.
Mail Servera. IBM m225 server (connected to 80
pc)b.nowel
Netware.c.UTP
cabling
D.LINUX
this server connected with 80
computers
Now i am
connecting oracle server from the mail
server through telnet vt100 and accessing sql*
forms 3.0.now i want whatever key board
functionality available in oracle server sql*
forms3.0 the same key functionality i want
in mail server
vt100 telnet(telnet connection)
scope: same key board function should happen in
two server while working in SQL* forms 3.0
how to key
map.can
u understand my requirment
how to
key map
please let
me know"
All I can hope is that the plant is still running ok.
Again though - why does anyone think I can help out with
something like this (which I guess is something to do with
Forms 3.0) - I guess it’s probably the fact that the site is
called "Mark Rittman’s Oracle Weblog" rather than Mark’s
Oracle BI&W Weblog, but even so…
"What are the got you scenarios when upgrading or moving an Oracle 8i
application to 10g?"
Yes I really have got time to do that. In a similar vein:
"hi sir i want some help in designing. can u help me. i will send u my
paper work and have to check it."
At least that one’s got the virtue of being short and sweet.
This next one arrived with three attachments - a three page word document
detailing the query and tuning strategy, a full explain plan and an Excel file
with a complete set of initialisation parameters with additional commentary;
"Hello,
I have read your Oracle Weblog articles, etc. on Oracle Database,
Warehousing, etc.Attached is detail on a query, a view def., for which I seek comments/tuning
suggestions. The detail will Serve as background detail on the system,
database and the query and will provide a good profile of the suspect view
def query and environment. I respect your time but hope you will be able to
Offer comments/suggestions re: tuning this query.I will forward list of comments/questions later. If you have any tuning or
other comments now, please don’t hesitate to send.However, I guess my main question now is whether or not the FIRST_ROWS
run(see attached explain plan, etc.) is possibly optimum, best attainable
for this query; given the (possibly buggy) Oracle8 8.0.4 RDBMS and nature of
the query with low Selectivity(only 1 constant equality constraint in
WHERE), several tables in FROM, several table joins and outer joins. The
outer joins unfortunately are a necessary requirement. You will note none of
the tables is super large but the query does involve many tables/table
joins. ALL_ROWS Generally errors out with space problems; FIRST_ROWS
completes with no errors but response time Is several mins. Is that time
expected and possible "normal" and acceptable given this type of query??In testing I have noticed just the addition of a single constant equality
constraint to the WHERE clause improves performance (response time to
receive first set of output) considerably.NOTE: regarding (3) below, unless a param value is blatantly wrong, really
do not intend for the instance init params to be an issue, unless you see
differently. I am assuming the main tuning area to be pure SQL tuning and
not the system(AIX) or physical database or DB instance.
However, if any key areas of the database and instance init params appear to
you to be out of line and possibly causing the 5-10+ min response times Then
please consider and comment on these area(s)."
The query arrived just as my wife went into hospital to have our second
child, so I sent a note back saying that I was a bit busy at the moment and I
doubted I’d be able to look at it in the near future (i.e. ever). However, a
couple of weeks later I got a follow up:
"Mark -
Hope wife and baby are well. If you now have time, etc. - this is just a
reminder to take a look at detail (sent 03/09/2005). Any tech
comments/suggestions you have regarding tuning this query; Whether
materialized view help or whether the FIRST_ROWS query plan is optimal is
very much appreciated."
I guess (here I go contradicting myself) in an ideal world, I’d love to
answer all of these questions - by answering questions and participating in the
community, you help build up your own knowledge and I do really like to help out
people who’ve got an interest in Oracle business intelligence and data
warehousing. And I’m always really glad that people find the site useful, and
have taken the time to get in touch and give me some nice feedback. Even so -
if your question is interesting, on-topic or just happens to be on something
I’ve just worked on - chances are I might actually answer it, and in some detail
(such as here,
here and
here)- but some of the
questions I get through, all of which are unsolicited, i..e. the site isn’t
called "Ask Mark"), are a bit bonkers, although I do have a little chuckle
sometimes especially when I get set a deadline as well as a question.

June 17th, 2005 at 11:18 pm
I used to get a lot of these — in my inbox. Now I only get a couple per day. I got into the somewhat firm habit of replying with the below text. I found that as long as I do that, the repeat questions at least stop. I just set up an “identity” in firefox and have this as the .sig associated with it.
The scariest ones I get are generally there in the morning (sent while I was asleep). They typically look like this:
“Please help. We never did a backup and the system crashed hard. We reinstalled windows and put the files back but are getting ORA-xxxxx and the db won’t start. This data is really important, what command do we type to get it back”
I won’t even consider touching those — straight over to support.
Here is my .sig:
Please do not take this personally, this is a generic response I send to direct questions.
Please use http://asktom.oracle.com/ to ask me questions. When I have time, I accept them there. It is not a very scalable solution for me to answer individual questions in email. I cannot share these answers with many thousands of other Oracle users.
You must understand there are many thousands of people like you and there is really only one of me (I am not a team, a group, or anything like that — there is really just me). Answering individual questions via email is not a good way for me to spend my time.
See this page:
http://asktom.oracle.com/pls/ask/f?p=4950:99
for a list of other resources out there
June 18th, 2005 at 12:00 am
All of a sudden I feel really guilty about the question I sent you last month!
Maybe instead of
You can contact me at mark@rittman.net
You can say:
Personal feedback, comments, suggestions to mark@rittman.net.
Oracle questions to:
comp.database.oracle.whatever
[list the newsgroups you monitor]
Cheers,
Rob
June 18th, 2005 at 12:41 am
They are in English, to say the least. I’ve twice had people contact me and assume I can speak their native tongues (French and portuguese). I can’t for the life of me figure out how someone could surmise I speak either of these languages…
I think some of it may be the “World is Flat a la Thomas Friedman” phenomenon. There are people in remote places of the world that now have access to email, aspirations of tech work, and little resource of their own to learn tech. In some ways I admire someone who clearly knows little about the subject asking questions of people who clearly do, quite unapologetically (deadlines above). It takes, ummmm, gusto. Either that or there are just some people who haven’t got a clue. Maybe a bit of both.
In other ways I’m certain that one email headed back will not help them and will only frustrate me in some way. There is the consideration for on topic discussion and the time of the person who is publishing for “community sake.”
On a side note, through my blog I’ve ended up connecting with several colleagues with mutual interest and keep up with them quite regularly. I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience. So, it’s a double edged sword, the plain posted email.
Cheers!
June 18th, 2005 at 10:00 am
Hi Mark,
c) (My personal theory) The type of people who attend courses and conferences, read papers properly and are *selective* in their questioning don’t cause this problem. People who think that you can teach them how to become a certified something or other so that they can get a cool job without having the first idea how to approach a problem are the real source of these questions.
(A little joke for the Brits)
I remember you were quite occupied by this subject the other week, and no wonder!
Interestingly, when I’ve taught tons of courses and a few user group presentations I’ve always said ‘Please, feel free to email me. I don’t mind at all although I may take a couple of days to get back to you’. Based on those offers, I’ve never been particularly troubled by the volume or types of requests. I guess it could be for one or more of the following reasons.
a) They just don’t think I’m worth asking questions! (Oh, dear, I think I’ve just solved it)
b) It is a *much* smaller number of people than a whole internet audience. As I said to you, I think you’ve become the go-to man for DW development stuff and it would appear that Tom is just everyone’s personal Oracle servant
And, I’m sorry, but the txt spk and garbled English always seems to be a key part of this. This subject is always risky - what if English is someone’s second language? I can appreciate that, but the part of this that annoys me is the complete disregard for the person who you’re asking. It’s incredibly rude - all those deadlines, disregard for someone’s stated rules, displeasure with answers that don’t map on to their own ideas (The answer ratings on asktom can be entertaining) …. Grrrrrr.
This is the point. If Tom says ‘no text-speak’ or you say ‘Erm, my wife’s just had a baby’ and they persevere, don’t you think that’s a fairly strong indication that a) they’re not listening (in which case why bother) or b) they have no respect for your situation (ditto). Who the hell do these people think they are? How would they feel if the tables were turned? Do they even think about others? It’s all take, take, take …
Grrrr… Grrrr …
Hey it’s Saturday and we’re supposed to be due a ‘heatwave’ today. All two days of it. I think I should get the barbecue out and get my sunglasses on immediately
June 18th, 2005 at 1:01 pm
I don’t get too many questions - perhaps because my pseudonymity precludes direct email. I only recall getting one question on my blog and that was a ‘how do I become a DW DBA’ question (ironically, I am not a DBA!).
Occasionally, but not too often, I chip in a bit to a response on AskTom (I even use my “real” name there!)
In a way I’m glad that I don’t get a steady stream of questions; after all, my employers pay me to answer questions for customers
June 18th, 2005 at 9:44 pm
Thanks everyone. Rob’s idea is actually a good one, I’ll adapt my message and hopefully head off a few of the questions. Tom’s approach (the standard reply) is actually something I end up doing if I run out of spare time, although Tom’s is a bit more diplomatic…
The irony here is that I actually like helping people out, and 95% of the questions I get through are on-topic, give back a little as well as ask things of me, and I try and help out. Some of them are a bit mad though and some are taking the piss - this article by John Topley http://www.johntopley.com/archive/2004/08/10/index.html sums it up quite well actually although I wouldn’t be quite so forthright about it…
June 20th, 2005 at 8:59 pm
I once emailed interview questions to a candidate and got CC’d on the response from another person. The funny thing is that the original guy got hired for another project.
June 21st, 2005 at 7:16 pm
This link is related to Linux forums, and pretty harsh, but a great guide on asking for technical help:
http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html
And in response to your comment on my blog, no, you did not come across as grumpy. You raise a very good point about lack of awareness.
http://thinkoracle.blogspot.com/2005/06/asking-for-help.html